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My new blog: http://garbledgarbage.blogspot.com/

After 4 months of brain exercise, finally it’s almost over. Been waiting for this break to come. Planned what I wanna do with my 2 months. Last week I was stoked that vacation’s just one week away. But as the days drop, so as my enthusiasm. Or maybe i’m just tired of everything. Time is really fast. In fact, fast is like an understatement. Time’s 10 times faster than fast. Suddenly, I realize I’m old. I may be at the midpoint and still nothing accomplished. At least nothing big. But I’m patient enough…I’ll take whatever comes, with my teeth showing. I’m happy with where I am now compared to where I was 3 years ago. It was a total mess I wanted to die. I may miss school but what the heck!…I got 2 months to waste and one day I’ll be waking up ready to wear that faded uniform in my closet.

Nagplay na ng mp3 ang pc ko….YAHOO!!! ang una kong pinatugtog ay ang kantang 3 Libras ng A Perfect Circle…eh sa yun ang una kong nakita sa folder e, magagawa mo? Ang babaw pero astig..tumunog na siya. La wentah araw ngayon. Nagdorowing lang ako sa school-kulang pa…hindi ko pa tinapos ng matino. Ayus lang nakauwi naman ako ng maaga e. Makakapanood na ko ng One Tree Hill. Katakot na kasi umuwi ng gabing-gabi e. Dami mga killers scattered. Teka lang…naisip ko lang…may nagbabasa kaya nito? Di bale..at least may kunwari ako kausap. Sige mageeight na babalik ako maya-maya para magkuwento…yun e kung hindi pa ako tulog kasi maaga ako gigising bukas para m agbasketbol. Ciao!

I can’t be losing sleep over this, no I can’t
And now I cannot stop pacing
Give me a few hours, I’ll have all this sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

This is over my head but underneath my feet
Cuz by tomorrow morning I’ll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Don’t be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again
I don’t want to run away from this
I know that I just don’t need this

‘Cause I cannot stand still
I can’t be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

‘Cause I’m wating for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I’m somewhere in between
What is real, and just a dream.

Ang sakit ng likod ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero tingin ko sobra sa tulog ang dahilan. Sarap kasi matulog e. Nakakapagpahinga ang utak kong mapaglaro. Minsan nga parang gusto ko tanggalin utak ko para matahimik ako kahit sandali. Pero masakit pa rin likod ko. Sana gumaling na siya para back to normal na ko. Para makapagbasketball na ko sa umaga…at para mas masaya. Aba! dalawang sunod na araw na ko nagbblog. Namiss ko nga talaga pc ko. Ang bobo kong pc na internet lang ang silbi. Bawal ang tugtugan kaya hindi ako makapagdownload ng kanta..Nakhumpoota talaga. Bukas ang aga pa ng klase tapos hindi mo naman maiintindihan ang sasabihin ng tao sa harap. Wala ka naman magawa kasi bayad na yun. Buti na lang andyan ang mga kaklase kong malilikot ang utak. Kahit papano sumasaya ang araw na dapat sana ay nakakahassle. Papalitan ko na nga pala ang mga kanta sa mp3 ko. Hindi ko matagalan ang hip-hop music. Puro tambol kasi..boom…boom…boom…Malapit na magsaburday…sasakay na naman ako ng bus..yehey!!! Sana may tumawid na kalabaw habang umaandar kami para astig. Sana may tv sa bus para makapanood kami ng eat bulaga. Sana may makita kaming mga isda sa batis para may pasalubong pag-uwi. Higit sa lahat sana matapos na ang kakapindot ko sa mga letrang walang kaayus-ayos.

Sa wakas, pagkatapos ng ilang lingo…gumana ang lecheng computer namin. Sumabay pa sa unang episode ng one tree hill S3…kaya napapili ako. Malamang computer pinili ko may replay naman yung OTH e. Medyo sumaya ako pero medyo lang kasi ayaw tumgtog ng pc. Pipeh ang pc ko!!! OK na yun kesa wala. Natuon din ang aking pansin sa paglalaro ng basketball dahil nga sira ang pc ko. Medyo nabawasan na ang aking takot na baka mabali ulit paa ko. Salamat. Sandali na lang…kaunting panahon n lang matatapos na ang lahat ng kahibangan. MAgagawa ko na ang gusto ko-SANA. Sa wakas matatahimik na ang isipan ko. Dalawang buwan na naman kami maguusap ng sarili ko. Masaya din na minsan-minsan e iniiwanan mo ang mundo mo. Sa mga panahon kasing ganoon ko mas nakikilala sarili ko..nAKS!!! Pero seryoso ayus nga yun. Maraming kelangan gawin pero lahat yan magagawa. Tulad ng utang ko sa nanay ko…bili-bili pa kasi ako ng basketball shoes e…talo naman. Pero kaya ko bumili ng bagong new basketball spapatos ay para hindi na ulit ako matapilok. Takot talaga ko e. Mahirap ang hindi makalakad…pero astig din maranasan yun…pero ayoko na. Sa tingin mo ba…may kakayahan ang utak nating mag-isip ng mga bagay-bagay nag hindi natin namamalayan? Kasi sa tingin ko, kaya ng utak natin yun e. Kasi minsan gusto ko masaya ko pero sa hindi ko malamang dahilan e nalulungkot ako. Minsan naman gusto ko malungkot pero tawa naman ako nang tawa. Gusto ko nga masaya lang ako lagi e pero talagang minsan bigla na lang ako nalulungkot. Dati naman lagi akong masaya e…tipong kahit dapat nalulungkot na ako dahil sa mga nanyayari e ismayl pa rin. SHET!!! medyo senti ata yung part na ‘to ha…yaks! Baka nululungkot lang ako kasi sira nga ‘tong pc na ‘to. Siguro nga yun na yun kasi hindi ako makadownload ng kanta. Puro hip-hop nga laman ng mp3 ko ngayon e…boom boom boom!!! Haba na ata ‘to, katamad na basahin…Sige mga kaibigan next time na lang..Sorry kung nasayang ko oras niyo ha…minsan lang naman e….at pagpasensyahan nyo na kung may mga typo..TAO lang…

There used to be a time when I'm the only one that I could see.
I built a wall to keep me free, I saw it all so perfectly.

I divided everything I had into a thousand parts with names.
It made it easier to place the blame but it never really was the same.

But I forgot the reason why I had to be alone to breathe.
Something from my history or have I lost my memory?

But now it seems my baggage is the only thing that I can bring.
I had a lie for everything and now my world is crumbling

I used to talk to God but I gave up 'cause I couldn't see, couldn't get from A to B.
But was I ever really listening?

Enough's enough I know but then I never really had enough.
Something more to fill me up maybe just a smaller cup.

I used to think that I would never be alone but I'm losing control.
I find it hard to see at all to find my way back.

So now I find I'm on my own trying to find my way back home.

Chance is what everyone wants.

A chance to live.

A chance to prove.

A chance to shine.

If chance was for sale, it’d be sold out.

But I ask….why buy chance when every second it looks at you and smiles?

That’s because you never saw it smiled at you.

You were looking the other way.

I was lucky I saw chance a few times…

What did I say when I saw the smile?

That’s crazy, that’s stupid.

Chance never gives up. It finds a way for you to have a glance.

Now, it’s up to you whether you’ll touch it…like the great ones did…

Or pretend you didn’t see…like what I always do.

I have all the freedom I want

I can look at you anytime as long as you are there

As long as I think you don’t feel my eyes

I am afraid

Afraid of everything in front of me

Except you

Looking is all I can do

Looking is my happiness

I am content with looking

No need to see…

Why you want to play with me?
Can’t you see I’m tumbling down?
And like your favorite toy I’m tired of being thrown around

You lead me through this life of complication and delusion
So you drop it in my lap and slap me back towards confusion
When it’s so hard to decide whether to live or to die in this destiny
Tell me what would you say if at the end of the day it was just you and me

Smile away the fears that only seem to run me around
So you open up the door then the floor came crumbling down
I’ve only one or two dreams there worth losing
But they’re unraveling, traveling down the road to ruin

And the harder I try the more I slip and I slide through this fantasy

So when the rain is just around my corner
Throw some sunshine down my way
And I’ll hit you with a smile all the while my worries melt away

So won’t you show me a sign as I continue to climb up this reality
All by myself I need your help to persevere
And the same conclusions always greet me at my door
Wouldn’t it be nice to fade away?
And maybe one day you will show me what went wrong
So how did I become the unchosen one?